For posterity

Here in Queensland, Atti has been bitten in a rather sensitive spot. There are a few red bumps that I presume are bites on his penis and scrotum. Last night, while putting him in his night nappy, I was seeing if they were any better and he told me that they were from where the ladybugs had eaten his penis.

blink. blink.

The things we say when we had kids. The next words out of my mouth were "no honey, I promise you, ladybugs are not eating your penis".

Then, of course, I texted all the other parents in my parents group to tell them about this conversation!

Travel with smalls

Well we got here in (relatively) good shape. We had to wake Atti early to make our flight, and thankfully the iPad lasted the flight and so he was fine. He made a little friend at the end of the flight, and they became quite hard to separate actually.

He slept most the drive down to my parents, but it still meant he only had 45 minutes nap time.

He slept in a bed for the first time (well his own bed anyway) last night, and it went pretty well. Except for the hour of me putting him back in his bed every time he came out of the room. I suspect I will be doing a lot of that.

Sleep in general is not fantastic. He has been sleeping badly for a few nights, add to that being woken up early, a tiny nap and a later-than-normal bedtime - and then he woke up early too. So he has been a bit hyper and hard to handle today. Which is what you want when parenting with your parents right there, isn't it?

But he had a decent nap today (after being taken back to bed a few times - this is going to drive me nuts, isn't it?) and I plan to get him to bed on time tonight. And tomorrow we have a soccer class booked, and he has made one little friend on the street. So it's going well so far.

And the pool was a big hit today, with his vest on he is fine in the pool. Daily swimming should help him get a lot further with his lessons.

Also, tomorrow he will finally get to see his cousins.

Are we there yet?

Atti has been getting very excited to go and visit his relatives on the other side of the country. We figured out a way to give him a count down to the day we fly (a chain made of links of paper, he can tear one each night). Every morning he has been saying he wants to go NOW. 

He also wants to take almost everything he owns.

Today on the way home from his last day of daycare for two months (weep for me, oh gosh, no daycare - yikes) he announced that he doesn't want to go.

Ah, three. 

I think he is just getting that his friends won't be there, that his Oma and Opa won't be there. I have been telling him we can't take his bike, or all his bed toys... and I think that is actually sinking in.

He has been asking not to go to daycare lately too, which I am thinking is also a 'he's three' thing. Because he has great little friends and he loves his carers there. When we get there he bounces out of the car or trailer and runs happily in, so that isn't it. And today when he was saying goodbye to his little friends, he got such hugs from them - it was pretty adorable. But I think he realises he won't be going there for a while too.

Poor little fella. I better make sure I find him some friends while I am away. He will have his cousins, of course, and one of his little mates will be over there for a fortnight at xmas. And his neighblings will be there for a day after xmas and we are planning to hit up a theme park. But otherwise, we really don't know anyone, which worries me a little. So I am going to go along to some little kids sports type stuff and see if I can find some people for playdates. fingers crossed.

My preferred schedule

Every now and again on a Saturday, or a public holiday, our morning gets a bit out of control and Atti's nap gets pushed back. So he sleeps later (and usually a bit longer) than normal. So when he would normally go down for a nap about 12, it might be 1 or 1.30. Which means rather than getting up again around 2, it's 4, 4.30ish.

Which puts a 7pm bedtime totally out of realms of possibility. Usually we take advantage and do something with friends in the evening.

Today is one of those days. We went to a xmas carnival in town with friends, and didn't get home till late. Tonight we went over to visit a friend from daycare, we are loaning him some toys of Atti's while we are away. And Atti and Wookie are planning to go for a walk tonight to check out some roadworks they are doing nearby.

I really love this schedule - if I was a full time SAHM I would totally have him on that schedule. It would be lovely to be able to cook with him and have dinner at a decent time, to be able to go out with friends, to be able to go to movies or visit friends with older kids at home. And if he was having big naps in the day, it wouldn't mean he was sleeping in all that late either.

Also, excellent practice for our trip east - as I am hoping to keep him on our time, he will be napping later in the day and staying up at night. 

crap at the girl thing

I am looking forward to my trip east for a variety of reasons (and dreading it for some too) but one of them is to spend time with my niece and get to know her again. But it might be hard for me, because I seem to be a bit crap with girls.

This is not new, I have said for a while that I am much harsher with the little girls in my life than the boys, and I'm not sure why that is. I mean, one possibility is that, given the small sample group, the boys I have been involved with ARE easier than the girls. And I think there is some truth in that, but I also think I am hard on them.

Tonight I had three kids and a plan to take them to a restaurant opening (which I know sounds nuts, but it was a kid friendly event that friends of the owners invited us to) to see the lion dancers and the fireworks and everything. Now Atti is a very enthusiastic and energetic kid, G is a little bit spectrum-y (maybe sensory something) and noise was likely to be an issue with him a little, and Rio. Who, about 100 meters into the walk down there, fell over (no reason, just fell down) and .... well skinned her knees is actually an over description. Fell on her knees, with no blood or anything. And she promptly turned into Miss Scarlett. The wailing and the carrying on about how much it hurt and that she felt all weird and needed to lie down and so on.... it was pretty dramatic. And annoying. Her wail is kind of stabby-inducing. And the boys had to turn around and go home and they ... well they dealt pretty well with it but still.

I was kind of pissed about it, and I could have been nicer. On the other hand, I had three upset kids that I had to get back home through peak hour traffic and none of them were happy. I got them back, settled the boys in front of a movie and Rio in bed. Still wailing. Rang her mum and she suggested the iPad, which did calm her down.

K, her mum, later was suggesting that she has a low pain threshold and she has low blood pressure and maybe that was what was going on, which is probably true, but I wonder if I would have handled it better if I had known that before. She tends to be a drama queen and has a teeth gritting wail on her which is kind of a trigger for me, so I find it hard to be terribly compassionate when she is doing something I think is faked.

I struggle with her a bit because I can never find a thing to kind of be our thing. She doesn't do or want to do anything I do, so we don't have something in common. She and I clash pretty badly over a few things, and that doesn't help. I care about her a lot, but there is nothing she does that makes me just have that overflowing gush of liking her - so I kind of need to find something here.

I think my niece will actually be easier than Rio, because she does have some stuff that I really like. Well, lets hope anyway.

Bumps and scrapes

Atti takes after my side of the family in lots of ways, and the energy and physical abilities is definitely one. He climbs everything, is relatively fearless, wants to go faster and WIN everything. And I am a bit of a stand back and let him learn by falling kind of mum.

But it doesn't always go as planned.

He is always covered in bumps and bruises and scrapes - but every now and again I get startled by them. And yesterday was one of those days - he fell out of a fire engine.

I was standing near the door to the front cab, where the three boys were, facing the other two mums talking, when the door to the back cab opened and he fell out, pretty much head first. He had climbed over and somehow opened the door.

He was fine - upset but fine. But it threw me. I'm not sure what to do - hover more? It's really not in my nature. Be clearer about the rules? I mean he shouldn't have climbed over, and maybe that should have been spelled out. Wear padding and a helmet? It's not the worst idea....

A while back he took a pretty dramatic tumble down a kind of hill of rocks at an adventure park. He had raced off and climbed up while I was helping his little friend get down from something, and he was wearing gumboots, which were not ideal for climbing. I suppose I should be grateful that at least this time he didn't cry about how he wasn't 'the best' anymore!

Gender stuff

This morning, due to a lack of clean casual clothes that were weather appropriate, and shaved legs, I put on a work dress, and ran the tongs over my clean hair (shaved legs and clean hair rarely coincide at the moment for me). My neighbour had also given me this new lipgloss that I put on to try out.

As Atti and I were driving to daycare, he asked me why I was wearing 'glibp' - which I realised was lipstick. I explained that K had just given it to me and asked 'Do you like it'.

A: No Mummy. I'm a boy, boy's don't like glip...lip...stick. Daddy and me are boys, you and K and Rio are girls.

M: Yes, I am a girl, K and Rio are girls, you and Daddy are boys. But it doesn't mean you can't like lipstick. 

A: Boys don't like lipstick.

M: What makes me a girl and you a boy?

A: Look at the crane Mummy!

Not too sure if there is anything specific happening with gender norming. I guess daycare, and the pseudo-sibs - older kids. He seems to have learned to pee standing up at daycare (although since I put a ping-pong ball in the loo he has pretty much started sitting down on it again.

horrible child

He is in his room, having been put to bed, making huge 'aaaahhhhhchooo' noises.

*facepalm*

Genius

On the way to daycare the other morning, Atti said 'there is A's Mummy' (girl at daycare we have been on a few playdates with) pointing at a woman walking up the street. I said 'I don't think so hun' then as we came abreast with her, I realised it was her. I said to Atti 'you were right love, that IS A's Mum'. To which he replied, with the most hysterical look on his face 'I'm a genius!'

It was so funny. And who has been talking about 'geniuses' with him exactly?

Surprisingly lovely day

Generally on a Tuesday, Atti spends the day with my in-laws. Yesterday afternoon they rang to say they were pretty ill and wouldn't be able to take him.

It was a bit of a blow, because I had worked from home yesterday to get some chores done interspersed with research. And I had a meeting with my boss and co-worker booked in to get the plan in place for the next couple of months while both my co-worker and I were going east.

So, what to do?

I was actually at the park having a playdate with a friend and her son when I got the call, and we worked out a deal. I would have her son for a few hours in the morning so she could go to a doctors appointment with just her newborn, and she would have Atti for a couple of hours in the afternoon so I could get to my meeting.

It went pretty swimmingly, although not quite as planned.

The day was actually really lovely. Atti was delightful all day - not perfect - there were plenty of things he did that he shouldn't have, and getting him to clean up after himself required quite a bit of persuasion, but compared to the last couple of weeks it was wonderful. We read books together in the morning, talked to friends on Skype, walked/rode his balance bike to the shops, did some painting, let the cat come outside with us for a bit, had a morning tea together, and then had F come to play for a few hours.

My friend had suggested Atti come with her after her appointment, and see if he would nap at her place. He was VERY keen on this idea, I was/am nervous about this - she had admitted that it was likely neither boy would nap and have been convinced that the first time Atti misses a nap will be the dropping of said nap time. And as expected, they didn't nap. But they did have fun. He was pretty good about it all too - he basically got out of my car and said 'bye Mum' and walked inside with them. Um ok son.

And he wasn't too  difficult at dinner or after. On Tuesdays I have Rio from dinner til the quiz night is finished, and the Wookie goes too, so it is just me with the two kids. Both Rio and he went off easily tonight - we had let them run themselves out before bath time - you have to love summer! He suggested sleeping in his own room (he and Rio are offered that they can both sleep in my bed on the nights she starts the night here) which made life much easier.

It was a great day, and has me wondering if the recent difficulties are about (urgh, this term) 'a full bucket'. As in, he had my attention and time today, and there was no stress about what we were going to do because it basically didn't matter for the morning. I wasn't trying to get us anywhere, or run errands or anything. I did cook dinner while the boys were playing, but I could step out of the kitchen into the lounge any time they wanted anything. I think I might have to make sure I make time to do something with Atti every morning if I want things to run smoothly!

Counting down

We are leaving to head east for a couple of months in a little over a week. Every morning when I get Atti up now, he asks if we are going to Nanna's now. 

It's very cute.

Jet packs!

Did a bit of a craft project this week. We have a space themed birthday on this weekend, so I made jet packs for the kids. Came out pretty well too.

spray paint two soft drink bottles, attach to some cardboard and add streamers for flames!

And then you are off and flying!

'Helping'

I was making dinner the other night while Opa was over playing with Atti. He came into the kitchen and took my hand saying 'Mummy can you help me a little bit' while pulling me out of the kitchen into the dining room. As we walked into the room he said (in hearing of Opa) 'can you just kill Opa for me please'.

OMG. Is that from me?

We both (Opa and I) burst into laughter, so I would assume this will get a re-hash if he thinks it is funny. Oh dear. I assume 'kill' means something else in his head, but gosh it was funny.

I think I have heard him use it at daycare actually, now that I think about it. He said something about someone - 'he has killed me all day'. I laughed and then didn't think about it again.

Time to edit my language again I suppose!

Hockachu

ah, whoops, did it again.

So the point of this was for me to track stuff I wanted to remember later.

and Hockachu is one of them. Hockachu is Atti's current made up word. He seems to know that it doesn't mean anything - and he finds it so hilarious when he tells you that something is 'hockachu'. And I don't want to forget it.

Slow parenting

Well that was a bit of a gap. Exams, illness general life

I was reading something the other day about 'slow parenting'. That kids are so rushed all the time because we schedule things and we have to be on time etc. So the idea is to plan some things that can be done at the kid's pace.

So this afternoon I walked up to daycare and collected Atti. We walked to the nearest train station, stopping whenever Atti wanted to look at flowers or trains or cars. At the station we bought a big cookie and while we waited for the train we ran into Atti's friend from daycare D and his Mum. So we rode on the train into town with friends and hung out with them for a little bit. Then we split up.

We went to buy a darth vader t-shirt for a birthday party, and Atti managed to convince me to buy him a toy car. Then we went off to a food court and had an ice cream. We went and bought a birthday gift for another little boy's upcoming birthday. Then we caught the bus home, stopping to let him have two lollies from the shop for the walk home.

It was lovely actually, he was grinning at me like crazy through the whole thing. He chased huge bubbles that one street performer was sending down the mall, and sat listening to a street performer who was singing opera looking quite rapt. He loved his car and did very well on running ahead of me on the sidewalk but stopping for driveways. It was such a lovely afternoon. When we got home we both painted our toenails, and Atti walked around the house on his heels pretty much for the rest of the night. It was a gorgeous afternoon.

This evening he facetimed with his Aunty and did a story with his Nanna via Skype.

It was a great day. No tantrums or meltdowns (mind you, I wasn't exactly saying no to much either, but there were still things he could have lost it over). He was sweet and funny and interesting - I love days like this. I should remember this more I suppose, and not always think I need to plan things to do all the time.

Say Hello

There is a Playschool song that Atti and I listen to called 'Say Hello' and in it they tell you lots of ways to say hello - in Greece you say 'yassou' - that kind of thing. One of the ones they sing is that in vietnam you say "chao bang" and I pointed out to Logan that his friend S and his parents are vietnamese, so he should try it on them, which he did.

But now he is saying it to everyone - it is hilarious. He spent the morning saying it over and over to his grandparents. I have also told him that his friend D at his daycare speaks spanish, so he should try saying 'hola' to him. Wonder if that will happen.

A little bit of co-sleeping

I have exams this week and I am behind in my politics unit and beyond stressed. My neighbour is away so the Wook has been sleeping at his flat for security, to give his cat someone to snuggle and to give me a couple of weeks of silent nights (note I am not saying uninterrupted sleep. But silence in my bedroom if I am awake in the middle of the night is lovely.

Last night when Atti woke up in the middle of the night I decided to take advantage of the empty bed and brought him into my bed. First time we have co-slept since he was about 8 months old. It was absolutely glorious.... for about 15 minutes. We were lying back to back and he was warm and snuggly and it was lovely, and then he started to toss and turn and flay arms around and so on. Ah co-sleeping fantasy versus co-sleeping reality.

But still, it was actually lovely. When he lost his dummy and started to wake up and cry, it was all over in seconds, because I was right there. Not that he had to cry for a few minutes til I woke and got in there, then found a dummy and so on. So that bit was nice. And I have no idea what time he woke up because damned if I was going to turn on any device with him in the room.

It was good for me too actually. I was having a bout of insomnia when he woke up, and lying in the dark without my phone turned on meant I got to sleep earlier than I likely would have otherwise. So great for us both. And good practice for the idea of going on holiday at the end of the year too - where some of the time we would need to co-sleep.

Funny

There is a tv show here in Australia called 'Giggle and Hoot' and the human (the others are owls) is called 'Jimmy Giggle'. Atti started singing their theme song today, and talking about 'Shimmy Giggle'. I am terrible about things like this, I don't correct him - cause I think they are adorable, and because I figure everyone else corrects him with these things, so I will just enjoy the funny.

And, I just happened to spot this cartoon that it totally on point from Fowl Language comics.

Food for kids

Sometimes it is so hard getting enough food into Atti. Let alone balancing all the fruit and veg and protein and having some of the veg hidden and some out for them to see and eat and etc etc etc.

It is hard - and when you have so little time on top of everything else, it is hard to feel like you are doing it right.

So I am trying to set some times where I can do some cooking and baking for Atti - today I did a little shopping and made a batch of veggie muffins and got a picnic sorted for the playdate this afternoon. I am managing to make breakfast for Atti and Rio on most Thursday mornings. If I make something like pikelets then I can knock up some others for afternoon teas - pro tip I learned last week trying to make blueberry pikelets - let the blueberries defrost before you add them to the picket mix - it doesn't end well if you don't. 

The plans to get the lad to eat a bit more, and some healthy options - I am planning to make various 'secret veg' baked goods like the muffins I made today, and I am shamelessly stealing any good ideas from friends with food to take out to playdates - so I now have fresh corn each week that I cook and I take small cobs to playdates, and today I bought some cabana sausage that I cut up into little bits that he can have (both of those ideas stolen from a friend just yesterday!), I have some actual straight up vege (carrot sticks) and thanks to the 5 year old psudeo-sib, he loves cheese strings, so we have some of that too. Forgot about boiled eggs, doh -they are always good value, and have some peanut butter sammich, always a winner. The place I shopped this morning had the yoghurt squeezie packs but they were much too expensive, so I will have to pick some of those up, but the ones with the oats in them are great as a 'he didn't eat much breakfast/dinner' post snack. I am also a fan of apple slices with peanut butter on them - as is my kid. And if all else fails, bananas, pears and milk will get us through.

Actually I shouldn't complain. I have a kid who will request gnocchi for dinner, who is pretty much guaranteed to eat pasta if it is served up to him and who will steal all my pistachios if I let him. So he isn't too hard to feed generally. And he will scarf down the salmon mornay pasta back that is one of our staples and will always eat peas. Just lately he isn't eating much, and I worry that it is part of the behaviour problems we have having.

So, like everyone else, I am always on the lookout for good kids food recipes to feed this little munchkin.

Can't be doing it all wrong

Since my toddler told me this morning at breakfast I was 'his best fwend'. Aaaawwww, sweet.

And Friday I realised I was going to have to pick up Atti from daycare because I forgot to give my neighbour the carseat and so I had to do pickup. It was great actually, I got to spend a bit of time with the staff talking about the superhero training camp we are planning for the next school holidays and then I got to hang out with the daycare kids in their yard playing. I know most of the daycare kids a bit from parties and running into them around the traps on weekends, so we had a wonderful hour or so before we left. Atti and his little mate were riding trikes (he has gotten so much better at riding, I must get our trike out more) up and then racing downhill - it was brilliant. And I must be ok with kids because I was climbed over and cuddled by lots of the kids, which is a good sign right?

They really are such a lovely bunch of kids at my son's daycare.

Being sick with a small

Is awful. I have the flu and it is bad enough in the lead up to an exam, but add having to look after a toddler at the same time and urgh, it is miserable.

Thanks to the antipathy that Atti currently has for the Wook, and I am not getting much of a break. And having a toddler crawl all over you every 20 minutes when all you want to do is sleep or watch american police procedurals on the iPad is not conducive to recovery.

That being said, parts of today have been awesome. Atti and I normally go to the local primary school on Saturday mornings. They have a farmers market there, with a ukulele band that Atti joins in with each week, we meet a bunch of his little friends at the four near by playgrounds, we take our library books back and gets some more, Atti gets a gingerbread man and we stop at the bakery on the way home at the bakery. He has a great time.

I thought he would go off to the markets with the Wook this morning, or go to a new bouncy castle play centre some of the other kids were going to. But he wanted to spend the morning at home, nekkid, in his gumboots, bouncing round the house. It was pretty hilarious, even if I really wanted everyone to leave me to die quietly alone.

Three kids is a LOT of kid

Yesterday I helped out a friend who had a work function fall on one of her days off with her kids. So I took them for the morning. They are utterly adorable kids, and I was really looking forward to it.

But I am also not stupid, and I did a fair amount of planning and recruiting help. My friend J came with her baby to help me, and one of the dads in my parents group turned up in the morning too. We did a convoy to get all the kids down to toddler gym for the morning. And it was mostly great - Atti was a bit tired and emotional and was melting down pretty regularly. But with three other adults keeping an eye out for our 5 kids and an infant between us, we did pretty fine.

Atti crashed straight out in my bed when he got home, but my friend's daughter wasn't having a bar of  napping sadly. And her 4 yo son doesn't have naps anymore. So there wasn't really a break, per se, but it was fine, my friend J sat reading with the two loaner kids while Atti slept, so I did get a chance to sit down and take a breath.

It was an interesting experience - and much sweatier than I would have thought. As in, you don't really get to stop with three (four including the baby) underfoot. I had done all the cooking before they had come, so the food was all sorted first thing in the morning. And I seemed to spend a lot more time sort of trailing them tidying up afterwards - which I have always kind of thought was stupid when i saw other parents doing it - I mean teach your kid to tidy up or you will still be doing it in 10 years. But it is insane trying to direct a hurricane, and with a 2, 3 and 4 yo running around your house, a hurricane is kind of what happens. Play with one thing for 10 mins, then onto the next thing. You would definitely need a yard and playroom with three or more. Just to contain mess I and give them somewhere to run amok!

But it was so much fun. Very cool to have other kids who are interested in other things and play in other ways too. The 2 yo girl found lots of Atti's clothes to dress up in, and adorably she was most taken with a scarf and beanie that a friend's mum knitted for Atti that he rips off milliseconds are it is put on. The one photo I got of him in it I had to pin his arms down, something my friend noticed (doh!). So it was fabulous to send her a pix of this heartbreakingly adorable girly in the outfit. And the 4 yo boy is really dramatic and imaginative, and watching his death-metal-style guitar playing (to the wiggles!) still has me LMAO-ing.

Crap Mama Week

I guess everyone goes through days or weeks or stages where they are an awful parent. I am having one of those stages right now. Not all the time, but enough that I am feeling like the worst Mum in the world.

I cleared the train table off this week, and got out a bunch of puzzles and flash cards and put them all out on the table, invitation-like. You know, like all those awesome websites and montessori classes and so on do - invite your child to engage in a new activity.

Well mine did - by tipping everything out into a big pile. Repeatedly. Which I should have seen coming I guess. I'm not sure why I thought Atti would stand passively by my side while I showed him how to play the games or do the puzzles. Or why I thought the Wook would actually stop him from destroying it all. 

I also realised that we only had two kinds of puzzles - too hard or too easy. So quick trip to a local second hand shop found us with some new puzzles, which are in the right difficulty range. 

I couldn't convince Atti to go back to sleep or come and snuggle this morning, so I probably wasn't starting out in the right mood to do puzzles with him, but he was so keen so I gave it a go. And it wasn't a total disaster, but it wasn't great either. He won't let me show him how to do things, he wants everything out at once, he won't take turns ..... yeah I know, he is 2. But it is so frustrating and I am struggling to keep a peaceful happy face on it all.

Then there was a toilet-ing accident, and I really wasn't in the mood for it (and all things considered it actually was pretty minor - it's just that he has been doing so well I guess I kind of thought we wouldn't have this kind of problem again.

You know things are going badly when your two year old son is asking 'you happy Mama' and doing things to make you happy. He was packing up a box of toys he had emptied out and after each few things he put back he was saying 'you more happy now Mama'. Yikes.

It's all around a bit of a dark time. It is the last month of semester and I am soooo behind - and I keep planning for time to study and it keeps coming apart. Atti won't do stuff with his Dad or I get pissed off at the way he is handling him and just take him out, and this weekend the Wook has manflu and that has blown out my half days. And given that I can still hear them in the loungeroom, I guess they aren't going to swimming lessons this morning, so I won't have this morning to myself to do housework. And I am not getting enough sleep and generally am feeling pretty dark. 

Which is clearly coming out in my parenting. And that is not cool.

So. What to do. Well I guess the only thing is to "man up". Stupid expression given that what I am about to describe is mostly done by women. I think it is just time to accept that I am going to have to do everything myself. What free time I get to myself is going to have to be sacrificed for a while - Atti and the Wook are getting along so badly that it is no longer realistic to plan on Dad being in charge for half days. So I am going to be a bit more full-time than normal. And I am going to have to work out how to make that work. To be at peace with it and not get so frustrated. And I need to pack stuff I don't want Atti into away - it is the only way as he is into EVERYTHING right now.

This would be when I just have to suck it up.

Depressing as this entry is, I've added some photos to cheer myself up

Development

It is so amazing to watch a child develop, and see how their thinking is coming along. Tonight Atti and I were playing a kind of chasey game, and I was hiding up the hallway. Usually he can't keep his distance very long and he comes looking for me, but tonight, he stopped at the base of the hallway and started calling out 'Mum, help. Help me Mummy'.

Then it was 'the big bad mouse is after me' (we have been reading Gruffalo's child lately).

I stood up the hallway laughing at how clever it was. Luring me out like that. Awesome.

I kind of hate Mother's Day

Until I was a mother, it wasn't a big deal. My Mum was usefully born in the first week of May (and my Dad's birthday is pretty close to Australian Father's Day too, actually) so it just got rolled together - all I ever had to do was buy an extra card*. So Mother's Day wasn't much a deal. But then again, I have a reasonably low-key family about this kinda stuff.

The Wookie and I got together and Mother's Day became a bigger deal in my life then. The MiL expects a certain degree of celebration - they are the 'eat at an exxy restaurant for things' kind of people. So suddenly Mother's Day, Father's Day, Birthdays were much more expensive. A gift and paying for 3-4 people to eat out. Plus, as I am a planning-y kind of person, the planning started to fall to me. 

I pretty quickly chucked being involved in getting their presents. It soon didn't work out. One year for Father's Day I sourced a whole bunch of stuff to go with the FiL's new big flashy telescope. Star charts for the year and location, astronomy stuff for the year - only to discover it never pointed up to the sky, but down the hill! So that was a bust. And given that the MiL and I are so different, I gave that up. I am in charge of their xmas gifts (and choosing and booking the restaurant for MD - at least I was) and that is it.

But then I became a Mother, and honestly, can we just let it pass for a few years? Atti isn't old enough to do anything - and daycare sorts out a small and usually nice gift for the kids. This year it is a big glass jar that has flour, sugar and cocoa in it, with directions to add eggs and milk and mix, then bake - brownies! That is a good present. But Atti can't even manage not to wake up at 5.30am on MD, so lets just skip it til he can help his Daddy make a breakfast or choose a gift himself. Until then, Daddy is in charge, and Daddy is somewhat clue-less.

Which means it all ends up landing on me. And like countless other Mothers have said 'I don't want to plan Mother's Day FFS'. 

Now I am going to bitch about my partner, which I am well aware is utterly naff. But still....

Yesterday, after picking a friend up from a surgical procedure, I had to stop off while dropping her home to collect my own gift. All I wanted was a tin of my favorite tea. It is like $15 and is on the way to/from the Wookie's work. So he has driven within 500 meters of the place literally 10 times this week. But I had to go on a busy saturday to get it myself. And then he didn't give it to Atti to give me this morning anyway.

Atti woke at 5.30 this morning and I (stupidly) woke the Wook saying 'surely this morning I don't have to go get him? Assuming he would just grab him and bring him back to bed. But they got up. So I still didn't get any sleep (fighting and playing loud-music-playing-toys) and I got to lie in bed and consider how all the early mornings this coming week are now going to go. sigh.

And at 7 in comes Atti and Wook with a card (no food or tea) and I basically got both stomped on and groped. Awesome. Oh please, can we do this multiple times a year?

Blergh. Count me out.

Oh, and I still won't get any peace today. At 9 I am making a card with Rio for her mum and grandmother and the outlaws are coming here apparently (and claiming we will then go 'find' somewhere to eat - ah, not likely on MD). I am planning on suggesting we go to the beach and pick up fish and chips on the way. At least I could get my photography assignment for the week sorted.

And yeah I know - I'm a bitch. Whinging bitch. Lovely partner, son and in-laws. All who want to give me a good morning but are just going awry. And whingey me. But still, aiiiiyiiiiyiii. It can't be this hard can it?

*I feel very sorry for people born at xmas if they have a family like mine!

Morning dance party

Twice a week we Skype with friends who live on the other side of the country. Atti and I met this couple and their daughter the first day of mother's group. Their daughter Lee is two days older than Atti and our kids have always looked so much alike that they were often taken for twins when they lived here. Actually, Lee's mum and I were assumed to be a lesbian couple with twins a few times (admittedly this my perception, not something I know for sure).

They moved back east when Lee was about 18 months old, and I have always been a little sad about it. But we started skyping once or twice a week first thing in the morning (for me anyway) as soon as they moved and it has worked pretty well. I guess we will see for sure if I manage to get over to see them early next year.

But my friendship with Lee's mum has maintained and Atti and Lee take great delight in 'chatting' to each other over Skype. Showing each other their toys, telling each other what to do (take your dummy out Atti. Don't stand on the chair Lee), and this morning, having a dance party. Atti has found this baby toy of his, a car that plays music, and he is playing it and dancing to it a lot lately. And this morning he started doing it, and Lee went along. It was hilarious, and so adorable.

I miss them. 

Mind you, the dance party only happened in the second half of the call. In the first half, Atti was on and off the potty, pants free, picking his potty up to show Lee and generally making it a bit ridiculous for us all. Really hope we don't have a lot of calls where I spend most of my time angling the computer screen so that his willy doesn't end up in the call!

Toilet training

So Friday afternoon daycare sent home a toilet training book. Hmmmm, subtle much? Apparently Atti has stopped using the toilet there. When they do nappy changes they offer to let him sit on the toilet and he says 'no thank you'.

To which, my awesome neighbour/sister-wife, when told this on collect him Fridays said 'yeah, that's free will'.

She also dobbed me in about the smarties and bribery-cum-toilet-training we have been doing here. So today I had to take some smarties to daycare, and had a chat to Atti about how he needs to do wees in the toilet at daycare too now.

So, we shall see. Our very half-arsed training technique is coming along nicely here - most morning or nights we get a pretty quick wee in the potty, and then he gets into the bath or shower. This morning he re-discovered the set of cars his Nanna gave him when he was about 8 months old, and he sat on the potty for ages driving them around the bathroom stool. Which was fine by me, gives me time to shower in relative peace.

I do need to find some time to go buy underpants though - the book daycare sent us is all about big boys who wear underpants and use the toilet - and are you a big boy too - it is very popular here, and he wants us to read it to him over and over. I figure I probably need to get some underpants for him to have to figure out if he wants to use them.

But here is the thing - we live in a flat. A carpeted flat. Carpet everywhere but the kitchen and bathroom. I am NOT madly keen on accidents all over my carpets, because I seriously don't have the time to be washing carpets. So I am hesitant to go with this underpants thing.

I wonder if daycare would like underpants for the days he is up there.... LOL. I really should ask.....

Finding Mum-friends

I was very hesitant about joining a mother's group when I had Atti. I had heard such horror stories from people. The child health nurse was really pushing me to join, but it was actually some of my favourite friends who were mums who convinced me to go. So along I trotted to the group that initially had like 25 parents in it, but after we stopped going to the health nurse run bit, it petered off, and then there was a fairly natural break where myself and about 5 other mums from the original group took the opportunity to break away, because we didn't feel any particular draw to the other mums, and some.... anti-draw??? to a few.

So I ended up with a parents group with 6 kids and 11 parents and we all pretty much liked each other. And then two kids and their parents promptly up and moved to the other side of the country....sigh. Probably (at the time) both Atti's closest 'friends' in the group and the mums I was closest too. But we still spend time each week with the other 3 families and we Skype weekly with one of the ones who left and occasionally with the other ones. So that was nice.

We went to various classes and we met other kids and mums, and some of them we organised playdates and so on with, but they would peter out in time because we didn't live close enough or have enough in common. Which is fine, it was nice while it lasted.

And then there is our daycare. I have, on occasion, tried to line up playdates with kids that Atti seems to like at daycare, and mostly that hasn't worked out. Our daycare is close to where we live, but is also close to the children's hospital, so quite a few of our parents are actually staffers there. So they don't live locally and it never works out. We have a few parties at daycare each year, and the few parents who live locally we do run into around the 'burb, but it just doesn't translate. Until recently...

I invited a few kids from daycare to Atti's birthday last year, and one Mum came with her two kids. Atti is about halfway between them (I think) in age, and he gets along with both. I love these kids, they are both utterly adorable and so funny. But finally I have that Mum bestie thing happening. 

I loooooove their mum. She is awesome. For a start she is the opposite of a helicopter mum, and I am now so conditioned to it that I am further down that path myself that I ever thought I would be. It is really hard to be the only mum sitting on the side of the park, not getting into the playground equipment when EVERY OTHER PARENT is in there. I can live with the side eye from the parents, but my kid is not dumb, he gets that I am 'supposed' to do it. Everyone else's mum is doing it... and so it is SUCH a relief to hang out with another mum who doesn't do everything for her kids. Who is perfectly cool with them getting grotty and letting them learn by falling. It is like I can breathe out when I hang out with her. 

And she is funny and thoughtful and one of those people who really ask what is going on in your life and listens. I am actually going to have to pick up my game on that front, because I can be a bit less of a good friend in that way (mostly, I think, because I have so much going on that my head is full and I don't think to ask til later). 

So I have a bit fat mum-crush going on. And it is making me smile my head off.

Also, the photographer in my loves loves loves hanging out with our kids because they are so fun to photograph. 

Transport woes

When I had Atti my sister-in-law and brother sent me over their pram. With, as they loved to point out, the second seat. It was a Phil and Ted Sport pram and I have loved it. My in-laws bought us some accessories for it, so we had the sun and rain covers, a drinks holder thing and the baby insert seat. Also the travel bag now that I think of it. 

That pram has been awesome. It has a huge storage space underneath - you can cart a hell of a lot of shopping in that under-space. It is big enough and stable enough that I can hang bags off it, the second seat gives me extra storage space - for bags or extra kids! The pram is fine for me to cart both Atti and Rio in (which has been a god-send at times) and is stable enough that Atti can climb in and out himself. Atti really loves that pram, actually.

But, it has not been a dream to push around lately. The wheels have gone a bit wonky, it always had a bit of a tendency for the front wheel to go rogue, and it is heavy. Also it is huge and a hassle to put in the car for anything - so I have begun to bring a trike or the Ergo when we go out rather than the pram.

When we went to the zoo last week, Atti was seeming a bit off, a bit delicate, so I rented a stroller. And I realised that we really need something more like a stroller. But still, I need something a bit more than a stroller - I still need some storage and it needs to be a bit stable - Atti will definitely climb up by himself and whatever I get needs to be sturdy enough for that too. And I like being able to walk around my neighbourhood (when I have the time). Plus Atti is still learning to walk with us, and so the pram is useful to have out with us while he is learning - so that if he won't keep to the rules, he has somewhere to go. Also, in a shop, I like to be able to kind of strap him in if I need to (and at Kuks, for instance, I really do need to).

So I started looking on Gumtree (I always get second hand stuff - I just don't want to care about marks on the pram or whatever) and reading reviews - because I honestly didn't know what I wanted. I may also need to be able to cart an actual baby occasionally too. So today I went to look at a Bugaboo. Which, if you had asked me before yesterday, I would have told you I would NEVER consider. Overpriced wank I thought. But there was one very near work, at an astonishing price, and I had read that they were very light, so I figured I needed to consider it.

It is a bit faded, but it is very light. Initially awkward to take apart to collapse, and it will take up a bit of space in the car - but my last pram pretty much took up the whole boot, so I am well prepped for that. And the under carriage bag storage is a great size, and I really like the how the seat can be set at all kinds of angles and can face either direction. The woman threw in two bassinets and I was sold. 

I will need to keep an eye out for a scooter board for it, as I will definitely need one at some point, and I might keep an eye out for a newer (and matching) under carriage bag. 

I am pretty happy with it so far - and if not, I will just sell in on and get something else. I have one concern however - that Atti might be too tall for it soon. His head is just under the canopy now, I will have to do some research to find out if there is any way to raise the cover or get a taller one.

But lets see how this goes. Tester time and review coming up!

more funny statements

That I want to record. Atti had a very short nap this morning (not great given the 5am wake up) and when I went in to check on him at around an hour, he was standing next to the bed, holding my phone and turning off the white noise (nope, I have no idea how he knows how to do that). 

He said 'Hi Mummy, I awake!' I said 'Atti, that is not a very long sleep. You need to still be asleep!' he replied 'sorry about that'. 

And his father and I fell about laughing.

He has actually not been terribly well this weekend. Not sick exactly, just a little bit hot and flushed, a little bit sooky, a little bit fussy. Mostly fine, but for example, when we went to the zoo yesterday, I decided to rent a stroller when we got there, because he just suddenly seemed a bit delicate and I figured he could use a place to sit and rest during the afternoon. It was a good call actually, and I really need to find either a new pram that is easier to cart about or a stroller for the car.

Never ending bed posts

Another two-in-the-bed night tonight. I just put the neighblings to bed saying 'now, no one gets out of bed and no one makes any noise'. Atti said 'but I have to talk to the dark'.

*boggle*

Eyebrow raise

At lunch time today, Atti offered me a piece of his lunch, a piece of apple. I said 'thank you Atti'. He said "you are very welcome mummy", with a half bow.

Who the hell is teaching him this stuff????

Bed experimenting follow up

So we are having another go tonight - and we seem to have achieved success! Two children asleep in the one bed. *happy dance*

This is the third go we have had at this - last time we had no smalls coming out of the room, but when I went in to check an hour later, I found Atti sitting up and asking to go into his bed. So minor success there.

Tonight we had a bit more argy-bargy before everyone was asleep. But it's 8pm, and everyone is asleep - so winner winner chicken dinner!

Experimenting with beds

We have Rio sleeping here tonight, as we normally do one or two nights a week. Her mum works nights, so she goes to sleep here and when Neighbour K gets home she just carries her asleep upstairs to her bed. Works well for everyone.

Tonight I tried putting the two kids to bed in my bed. I gave them a half an hour to fall asleep and/or three appearances out of the bedroom. Also, we said we were turning off all screens so we would hear them if they talked.

I know, designed to fail. But there was a method in my madness. The Wook has been making noises about taking the sides off Atti's cot. And I have been all 'sure, but do you realise what happens when we do that?'.

So I was kind of making a point. But also starting the process. 

It went about how you would expect. Within 5 minutes Atti was in the lounge room. Sent out by Rio apparently, to get water for them. Three more appearances within 20 minutes and Atti was back in his own bed. Pleading from both smalls for 'one more chance' did not move us.

But I did say next time Rio sleeps here they could have another go. And they can.... and that will fail too. But we will edge a little closer each time I guess. 

Such an up and down day.

Atti is a bit of a pain about telling me or admitting when he needs a nappy change and will fight me (but his father much more) about it. This morning we had one each way - he announced it during a Skype call with friends and let me change him immediately with no problems, then later in the morning fought me like crazy for about a half an hour, during which time it all became rather disgusting. I was absolutely ropable at the end of it.

He kept trying to tell me afterwards, while we had lunch that I was happy. And doing his 'I'm so adorable' face at me and being sweet and funny until I gave in. But I said that he had to tell me when he had a dirty nappy and let me change him from now on. And he 'pwomised'. 

Which, oddly, later on actually worked when I said 'hey Atti, have you done a poo? You promised to tell me and let me change you' and he said 'oh yes. I have mud!' and walked into his room. Yikes.

We have been a bit hit and miss with negotiation and him agreeing to do things with me lately. I don't cede total control, or I would lose my mind. But I do try and give him time and incentive to cooperate, and where it's viable, some choice in his life.

I have been trying a new technique that I read about - counting to 10. I know, it sounds obvious. But what I mean is that one of the reasons tantrums happen is that, from a toddler's perspective all this random stuff keeps happening to them. So if you give them some notice that things are about to happen or change, and a timeframe, it can help. So you count to 10.

He LOVES it. He absolutely stops whatever he is doing and is thrilled to count to 10 with me, and do the fingers. And about half the time, it even works. Not so much with the nappy thing, but other things. Today at the shop when he found the toys and was holding up some bath ducks, I said 'ok Atti, we are going to count to 10, then you put the ducks away and come with Mummy to find the milk'. And it worked just fine. Not so much with the 'can't scooter without a helmet, if you don't want to wear a helmet you have to walk' dilemma.

We did have some lovely bits today. A nice lunch and we both had tea. A couple of very nice walks too. He walked holding my hand just fine for the most part. Gets a little too freaked out about crossing the road - any cars in the vicinity at all mean no crossing. He was quite adorable with my friend's baby. And quite good about carrying something to the car. And he got on the phone to my grandmother who never calls so he has no idea who she was and was adorable and called her by the name she likes. And he was great with his Oma on the phone tonight too.

Hope he can be this great tomorrow afternoon with her - she is already telling me how exhausted she is, and she hasn't had to do anything with him yet!

The best laid plans... sigh

So with my many many layers of community I have put around myself and my child I should NEVER be stuck for a bit of childcare.

Ha ha hahahahahaha I say!

It has happened. Neighbour-who-is-basically-another-parent is away on holiday, Other-friend-who-is-a-substitute-parent has just had a baby and is not yet unto handling a newborn and a toddler, and father-out-law has to go into hospital today for a couple of days. Mother-out-law is not really capable of looking after him for any real period alone (and we aren't keen on her driving him). Wookie had last week off work, so no emergency day off (not that they would ever let him anyway). So I am a bit stuffed this week.

Which is unfortunate because I am behind in my study and I was supposed to train for a new part of my job this week. I have arranged to do it Friday afternoon instead - but this will make me late to pick up Atti from daycare.

The real problem is tomorrow, when I am at prac. At a clinic that is an hour and a half away from the daycare. So he is going to be chucked in the door as soon as they open and I will be running for the train (because of course I have an early appointment booked for tomorrow) and I won't be able to get back before closing time. It is not a brilliant situation, he will be in daycare for 10 hours. The Wook has asked if he can leave early, and I have asked the Mother-out-law if she could pick him up and bring him home and give him dinner. 

Wook won't be allowed to leave early - anytime we have had this kind of situation and he has asked his boss has said no. And if Mother-out-law does it, it means I have to clean my house from top-to-toe because she is a person who will go through all our stuff. Sigh.

And because I had to move the training session to Friday, I will be late picking him up then too. We are going to have a bumpy week I think. 

But at least we can spend a bit of time together today and do some shopping and do some cleaning. So that is all good.

Ohhhh

Be still my mama-heart.

Atti is off to his swimming lesson with his Dad this morning. They are about to leave and he just came up to me and said 'Bye Mama. I am going to miss you so much, and be home soon'.

Awwwwwwwww!

Makes the 5.30am start this morning worth it!

Banging my head against a wall

Whyyyyyy to grandparents make you so crazy?

The Outlaws just took Atti for his second overnight - and I got most of 24 hours to myself, which was glorious.

And then Atti came home with the two new pairs of shoes that they took him shopping for. Now we had a discussion a while back about this, they were going to buy him some shoes for winter.

Which they did. Lovely, expensive shoes.

That are a size too big.

FFS.

So now what do I do? She is sure to ring me tonight and gush about him (you know, he was sooooo great here with us, with none of those tantrums he throws when you are around kind of thing) and ask me about the shoe. Do I say something and they get all pissy with me? Or just put them away til they fit (it will be summer I imagine, and they will be too hot for him to wear then). I know they did it deliberately because they told the Wook he needs to wear thick socks with them. So that he can 'get more wear out of them'.

Sigh.

Why do they do this kind of stuff? Is it that hard to get that wearing shoes that fit properly is important? Especially on developing feet? They have money, this isn't a case of the only shoes they could afford. Also, you can buy less expensive shoes - they have gone to the most expensive kids shoes shop around to buy these. 

This stuff just makes me crazy. And I need to get it out before the phone rings. Because I am going to need to be very diplomatic and non-shouty.

Tantrum update

Ah two year olds.

We walked out of the shops today, and there was a motorbike parked at the front door. Atti loves motorbikes, and he was being a bit stroppy, so I pointed it out to him. "Look Atti, a shiny black motorbike"

His response "It is NOT black Mummy, it is white".

Yep, my two and a half year old is now literally arguing that black is white with me. Happy Easter!

Easter, srsly?

Prior to having a kid, I didn't really notice the pain-in-the-arse-ness that Easter is. I mean for me before it was a 4 day weekend and there is usually another long weekend in April for us and you can sometimes get a hell of a holiday without sacrificing too much of your leave. We used to go camping each Easter at this lovely spot, but that was back in the day.

Actually, BL (Before Law School) more than BA (Before Atticus).

Now I am not religious, and I am not much of a chocaholic so I guess I was kind of failing to engage wight he 'real' meaning of Easter. It was just an uber long weekend. But now I have a two year old, and UUUUUURRRRRGGGGHHHH.

Gift boxes have been on sale for months at the shops, and so I have picked up a gift for the Wook, the Out-laws, Atti and Rio. And we planned two easter egg hunts over the weekend, although I suspect we are going to go a bit light on the actual chocolate eggs. But I had forgotten to take into account everyone else giving my head huge amounts of chocolate. And beyond the relatives and friends… total strangers in shops and at markets that are handing out lollies and chocolates to kids. I was basically told 'oh are you going to be THAT mother' today….. srsly? It was from someone I knew well enough to say 'look if it was only one chocolate over the weekend it would be fine, but do you realise how much he is being given this weekend?' to. 

We really all need to stop giving 'treats' to kids ALL THE FRIGGIN TIME. And stop shaming their adults when they say 'no it's not ok'. Because it isn't a 'treat' when it is every time you go to the shops you know. And I already can see what happens to Atti when he is given quite a few gifts in a short period of time - today he skyped with my parents and was given 'their' easter gift. He was thrilled with the truck (and failed to notice his mother hijacking the eggs) but within 10 minutes he was saying 'I want another present'. Not cool son.

I might be a bit extra touchy because we have had a bit of movement on the toilet front around here. Atti is willing to sit on the toilet twice a day for about 10 minutes and read a story - and we have been giving him two smarties when he does this. Probably a bad time to introduce it, with Easter can coming up. But they started it at daycare, and I wanted some consistency*.

*doubt they give him chocolate at daycare though!

Urgh, tantrums

So much for three is when the tantrums start…not here. 

Atticus is really getting into his stride with tantrums these days. A lot of them are around not wanting to get his nappy changed when he is obviously in need of a fresh nappy. I mean, what the hell is that about? That doesn't even make sense.

Don't get me wrong, he isn't having any kind of mega tantrums, just normal ones. But they are so frustrating. I definitely need to hit all the parenting books again, because my current set of ways of dealing with it are clearly not working and I am getting pissy doing them too.

So I need some new strategies.

Going to look for them now.

All the kinds of parenting

This parenting business is weird. I mean, I sometimes feel utterly ridiculous making decisions for my kid and about others in relation to my kid. I mean I'm like 15 right? 

I know…. I'm not, but really, who feels that grown up?

So we went out and about today and had a fairly nice day.

Popped up to visit the neighbours this morning to sort out the plans for the week and the kids did this yoga video together and it was seriously hilarious to watch.

We were all going to head off to the markets together and to the open day Rio's ballet class was having but we realised she had… well an issue that meant she need to go see a doctor that morning instead. More on this if it becomes relevant.

We still went off to do the normal Saturday morning things, with added 'Tutu Day'. Met up with friends at the park, and then went off with another little boy from our parents group and one of the mums to this open dance class.

Atti couldn't have cared less. He did try to do the feet, briefly, but he wasn't interested. The other little by, who I will call Joe - he loved it. Rio's mum had given me a little rainbow tulle skirt in case Atti wanted to wear it (nope) and he put that on, went up the barre, did leg lifts and everything. It was the cutest thing ever. His mother decided to leave because she felt like he was distracting the class and he was sobbing about it. OMG the cutest thing.

So I was telling the other mum about the dance class. That one, which I know a bit about because of Rio, and another toddler general dance class not far off that we have been thinking about going to. And her response really surprised me.

She told me she didn't want him to do anything that had an aesthetic component, because she didn't want him to think about how he looked. 

Now I come from a family where we have a LOT of people who have done a lot of 'aesthetic' sports and arts stuff. So I kind of get it… there can be problems with it. But still, he pretty clearly really liked dance, so I was surprised she wasn't thinking of finding some way for him to enjoy that.

It is a funny thing this parenting lark. I tried flipping it about in my head, because I think I would resist it pretty strongly if Atti was a girl. But I am really pretty 'whaaatevs' about things like dance or diving or gym with my son. Partly based on my personal experience - the guys I knew in these sports didn't have the problems girls did. None of them (that I am aware of) had eating disorders or self esteem issues or any kind of body dysmorphia type things. Or much in the way of body damage either. There is problems of elite sports/arts and kids now and the kind of time requirements, but I will deal with that if it is ever an issue.

Right now I try to find things Atti likes, and responds to and that give him some benefits for us to go to. There definitely are things we have done because I wanted to, but now that he is old enough to realistically start to have a say, he gets some input. We don't do sign class anymore because he just wasn't getting anything out of it or enjoying it - I liked it, but he just ran around and wouldn't join in. He still loves swimming and so we do that*. He seems to really like the toddler gym, so we go to that regularly. When he doesn't like something, we don't persist, but if he does, I try to make it happen a bit.

So I was surprised to hear someone say that their view will take precedence already.

*to be honest swimming might be a bit non-negotiable. We are Australian, live on the beach, he is from a serious water family - it's a safety issue as much as anything else.

Friends

Atti told me today that he wants to be my friend.

Awwwwww.

The drama of band-aids

We went to visit friends on the weekend who live in a rural area just outside of the city we live in. It was a great afternoon and night, save for the little monster managing somehow to stay awake the whole way home and therefore go to be two hours later than normal.

While we were at their property he managed to bash up a finger and remove part of the nail. Part of the nail that covers his finger, and there was a bit of blood. He was very very upset and we had to deal with the band-aid problem.

Atti doesn't like bandaids. This hasn't been a problem previously as since he has been old enough to do anything with them, he hasn't had to have one. He has been given some with characters on them by friends, and he is fine when they are on his t-shirt, but rips them right off his body.

Actually, come to think of it, he doesn't leave them, or any stickers on his clothes either.

But his nail bed was uncovered and bleeding, and it really was going to have to be covered. We were at the home of a wonderfully competent mum and she had a variety of pretty hardy bandaids to choose from. But he kept chewing on them and pulling them off - we went through about 8 in the four hours were were there.

I tried to buy some on the way to daycare the next morning because I figured the daycare people were going to have the same problem. But the chemist was shut. I stopped on my way home and stocked up on hard core fabric bandaids, normal size and cut-to-size. We did manage to keep one on him for 24 hours until his bath tonight.

The poor little sausage is a bit delicate. Sore finger, sore mouth (molars), I think his ears might be bothering him a little, and due to the teething he is getting a bit of a sore bottom too. So he is a bit out of sorts, and sadly waking bloody early (sad for his mama. especially tonight as I am babysitting Rio and won't be able to go to bed until at least 9.30pm), 4.30am this morning. I get him to lie back down and listen to music, but I don't seem able to go back to sleep, so I end up useless for the day.

Anyway, whinge over. His finger will heal in a week or two, and he seems to have got the hang of bandaids now. I wonder if we are about to go through a period of having to have them for every little boo boo from now on.

Sorry about this

But Atti said something tonight I want to document.

However, it is about poo.

Can't believe I have become a mum who talks about poo. Anyway….

It was getting up to bedtime tonight and I went and found Atti watching a little Thomas. There was a bit of an aroma, shall we say. I said 'look buddy, we need to get you into a fresh nappy, ok?' 

We walk into the bedroom and I say to him 'Have you done a poo'. He says 'No I have NOT'. I open the nappy, and yup there it is. So I say 'Well, buddy, then what is this?'

His answer? 'It's mud Mama'.

Mud. 

Seriously, that is pretty bloody funny from a 2.5 year old.

How communal living makes my life easier

Because it doesn't always. Recently I have been helping out other neighbours, running kids to school and doing lots of the cooking and looking after pets and cars and so one while they are away or training or whatever.

And it does make my day harder. But, it mostly makes my life easier.

Neighbour K's car abruptly died a couple of days ago. So I took her daughter to school the next morning and Neighbour M loaned her a car for the afternoon. Today I had offered her my car, and said I would use public transport to the very far away suburb where I was starting my study/volunteer semester in a public legal clinic.

Which was fine, because she took my kid to daycare after she dropped hers off at school, and then collected him in the afternoon so he didn't have to do a long day. Then brought them home and they played together at her place (Atti spent time re-arranging her cookbooks. He simply refuses to believe they aren't mine). I got home and knocked up a quick dinner for the smalls, and took them over so she could finish cooking and get ready for her nightshift. Then she came down with dinner for the Wookie and I, and did final hugs and kisses for the kids. 

Both of whom are now asleep in my flat, while she works tonight.

It is wonderful. I can use public transport to go to uni and the clinic this semester, which will save me lots of money, because she will do some of the drop offs. So I can actually get there on time. And she and my father in law will do some pick ups, because that will mean he doesn't have to do long days in daycare, which will make him happier. And I can get home in time for dinner, cuddles, bath time and bedtimes. And at least one morning a week we will take Rio to school and hang out with the chickens and so on, and a couple of nights a week she will go to bed here so her mum can do some shifts.

It is brilliant for everyone. We get a family vibe going, the kids have more adults they can rely on, trust, love and be loved by - everyone is a winner. All the adults get a bit more time to themselves, and the knowledge that if something happens we have backups who are right here.

I love it. 

And most of the time, so do they.

Take a picture of us hugging - ok then.

Bah, language.

We went to the park yesterday afternoon with J and baby DD. We have this really lovely local park that is halfway between our houses and quite near her partner's work. So we decided to go hang out there yesterday afternoon.

When we got there, the only other people in the park were a couple and their son. Atti was fairly keen to play with the boy, so we went over and introduced ourselves and invited the little boy to play with the toys we bring for the water feature. They were very please but explained that M, their son didn't speak english. 

I have to tell you though, those two little boys spent over an hour playing, laughing, running, sliding, swinging together, having a wonderful time. His parents and J and I were thrilled, and a bit astonished. 

There were a few moments where language became an issue - Atti was a bit distressed by M putting sand in a toy that he doesn't think sand should go in, and M wasn't understanding Atti telling him. But mostly, it was delightful. They had a wonderful time, and all the adults watching had a kind of lesson in how shared language isn't everything - sometimes just play and the joy of sharing chasing bubbles or pingpong balls down half pipe is all that is important.

Baby lovin'

One of my best friends is basically Atti's extra parent. Actually, he has a few of those, come to think of it. But my friend J and her husband had a baby girl a week ago, and that is what is going on over here now.

Atti has been very excited about it for the past few weeks. She had a stillbirth and a miscarriage in the last couple of years, so we didn't tell him anything about the baby until the last few weeks, and we started mostly because one of the other mums in our parents group told her son, in front of the other boys that J was going to have a baby.

He has been talking to her belly (and exposing her in public, lovely!) and so earlier in the week I told him that they had taken the baby out of J's tummy and now we could go and see her and the baby (and her partner, he was there too).

He is very excited to see the baby, although the name is close enough to the name the other baby he has just met (another friend had a little girl a few weeks ago - two high risk pregnancies, two preemies, two healthy little girls with similar-ish names). So he has been struggling to get the names right. We have gone to see them twice now, and take some photos (trying to save them several hundred dollars - the hospital does a newborn shoot but I figured I could do a reasonable job). It goes better if we take some things to amuse him once he is over the baby, and he does tend to try to touch her face a little too much.

But I can give you a little baby p_rn to brighten your day. And show off my newborn shoot skills, if only a little bit

Funny

One of Atti's favourite books is "The Gruffalo". He asked me to read it to him today. 

But he didn't let me read it. He started scrabbling round the pages further on that where I was up to, turned the book to the page where the mouse first meets the Gruffalo and so I started reading that. 

When I got to the "oh help, oh no, it's a Gruffalo!!!" bit, he started patting my face and saying 's'ok Mama, don't be scared' and then put the book away - so I wasn't scared!

He is also now always asking me 'you ok Mummy' and telling me 'be careful Mummy'.

So cute.

And today we stumbled into a bunch of friends at the local farmers market (held at a local school with a bunch of wonderful playgrounds) and we ended up with all 5 kids playing with the ukelele group. Wonderful photos (and if any of them end up famous musicians, valuable too!)

And I discovered almond butter today. So yummy, and so much nicer than peanut butter. Ours will need a bit more oil though, as it is a bit thick to spread.

Music

I am not musical. I never really played an instrument (well, recorder and glockenspiel at primary school and a brief moment of french horn in high school), don't sing, am not even that much into music - I mean I like it, but I have tended to listen to news radio rather than music, mostly because I hate the commentators.

But I went and had a baby, and other people sang to him and he liked it - which forced me to sing too. I would like to point out that I have done more singing in public in the last two years than in the previous nearly 4 decades. 

Recently I have noticed how interested in musical instruments Atti is. We went to visit my best friend and her family, who are very musical, recently and Atti had a wonderful time playing drums, piano, recorder and an accordion. I was glad he didn't realise the violins made sounds! He has also been a bit obsessed with the ukeleles at Rio's school and the ukelele group that plays at our local farmers market each weekend. After he grabbed the spare uke at the farmers market and joined in with the group last Saturday, I decided to have a look online and picked up a cheap uke for him.

He is so impressed with his 'guitar'. He even took it to daycare yesterday and shared it with his friends. They all had a great time with it. 

So it has lead me to you tube and uke lessons online. I figure someone actually needs to play it for him a bit, so he gets that just plucking or strumming it isn't the point. So far I have learnt that I have to practice strumming with my thumb (not my fingers that have decent nails…) and learning about the frets and how to get the strings to touch them, so it will still actually make a note, not a thunk noise.

Just what I need as uni goes back (full time for my final year) and J has her daughter…..a new hobby!

Kid's sleep

Atti was having a good nap the other day. Long enough that I had gotten everything done that I needed to, and was able to curl up with a book. And my eyes started to close, my head tip back and get heavy. And as this was happening I was thinking 'well this will definitely wake him up'.

And a few minutes later, just as I had gone far enough down to sleep that waking is like having your head slammed against something, it did.

I am wondering what is going on. How is my kid so attuned to my sleep? If I had gone to sleep at the start of his nap, no problem. On the nights I get to bed early, he will invariably sleep in, sometimes an hour past his normal wake up time. 

But on the nights I don't get to sleep…. guaranteed 5am wake up.

WHAT is going on?

He sleeps in a different room, there is nothing to indicate when I am sleeping. It is just that universe bastardry thing right? Not my particular kid torturing me. Right? That afternoon when I got like 3 minutes sleep was hard work, I was really dragging because of that almost nap. 

Surely I am not the only one who's kid's sleep seems to be directly related to mine.

Although, I could take this as gospel (rather than the arrant nonsense it actually is) and decided that I need to get more sleep … for Atti's sake. To help him sleep.

Lol.

Best Friends

Atti woke me up the other morning (he slept late enough that his Dad was up before him, and on those [rare] mornings, he gets Atti up) and told me I was his best friend.

Awwww. Sweet. I thought 'learnt a new phrase from Rio or daycare I guess, I wonder if he actually knows what it means'. We use 'friend' a lot in signing, but I didn't know how well he got the concept.

Nope, he has it down. And initially he changed his mind about who was his best friend every couple of minutes - at one point everyone I named was his 'best friend'.

In the day or two he has started going through some photos I recently printed (which I need to send to his great grandmother, so I should get them away from him) and he keeps picking out the same two and saying 'A is my best friend' when holding one up and 'best friends' when holding up the other (with a different little boy in it - but when I ask if J is his best friend he says no). 

It is very sweet… even if I question his choice!

I had a friend over with a newborn the other day, and I spent the afternoon listening to Atti sing along with a cd of songs, direct me so he could show me the chickens at Rio's school and 'read' a story with me that night and I wondered… why does anyone like the newborn stage so much? They are so much more interesting and engaging and intriguing as they get older. And funny too. Atti accidentally told the Wook and I a dirty joke the other day and we both collapsed laughing… and he looked so utterly chuffed that he had made us laugh. He wasn't sure why we were laughing (and I really hope he doesn't repeat it to see if other people laugh) but he was clear that he had made us laugh, and so very happy about that fact. It was an amazing moment.

We had another great (if long) moment recently. I picked Rio up from school and we went to visit a friend and her two kids. Atti sees this kids regularly, but not frequently, but when he was a baby he spent a day a week with them. He was gorgeous on the ride down there, telling Rio about the boy and girl we were going to visit. I said something about the boy, and Atti said 'X loves me very much!' - which is totally true. They had this really wonderful afternoon, so much so that we were invited and stayed for dinner, and I basically ran the kids there until bedtime, drove them home and they went straight to bed. All of the kids got along like a dream, they were all beautifully mannered, they all ate like someone else's kids, they were cute and smart and funny and polite. It was fantastic. We should do it every week. Well except for the fact it wouldn't work if I did.

Now, if we can just stop Rio from telling her teachers that the reason I picked her up early from school was to go to a playdate…...

Yikes - multiple kids is HARD

Rio's mum is doing a training course for a fortnight, and I am doing the school run for Rio each day, and due to her school being a hippy private kind of school, she doesn't go on Wednesdays. So for some of each day, I have two kids. I am getting two kids ready and fed and off to their various places each day, and then collecting them and entertaining them for the afternoon and getting them home, fed and bathed before bedtime.

And, having to do errands and things in there.

Wowsers, it is harder than I thought it would be.

Also, HOW does anyone get any work done? It seems like there is no time between when I get home after drop off and when I have to start getting organised to do pick ups again. It is, actually, at most 5 hours, so I am not surprised it seems like nothing.

Again, hard.

And, not for nothing, Rio isn't the easiest kid either. I mean 5 year olds - know everything, contradict you on EVERYTHING, not consistent - I know. But wow, bits of today made me boggle. Mind you, spending a whole day with her (when she was allowed some tv - school days there is no screen time and that is crazy rough) is nothing compared with trying to get her out the door on time to get to school. She is soooooooooo sloooooooow. I am going to institute a countdown now, and at 0 you are out the door, I don't care if you haven't finished your breakfast, aren't dressed, hair isn't done, whatever. WE are GONE. Rio's mum must be a saint not to have screamed bloody murder every morning - a week in and I would (will?).

Yesterday and today I took Atti off early to his grandparents/daycare so that I didn't have to deal with them together. Monday morning it actually worked very well, taking Atti to daycare and Rio to school - we even got there early. Tomorrow has a built in schedule as we have to pick up my friend J on the way, but leaving is what will be hard tomorrow. Rio has been getting a bit clingy when I leave her there and Atticus looooooves that school. He loves the chickens and their playground and Rio's classroom, so getting out the door will be a bit … well long I guess.

But this first week has been rough. I'm told you get used to it, but honestly, with two it is pretty hard, I simply cannot imagine more.

Although one thing about having Rio this week has been brilliant - I managed to forget to put the key in the door today, and ended up with the kids inside, and me outside with no key. Ummm whoops! But Rio managed to find a stool and get up and open the door and let me in. Awesome. Well, until I watched Atti try the same thing this afternoon…..

The Giants

The city I live in has an annual arts festival, and today was the start of 'The Giants' walking the streets. 

It was wonderful.

Not NOT a hassle mind you, to take a 2 year old and a 5 year old and all the kit (food, nappy bags, pram, camera, toys etc) into town in morning peak, plus at least 100,000 extras to be there for the event we went for. Also, it's hot. And the two year old sure wasn't going to sit quietly on Daddy's shoulders for 45 minutes while it started. Or really get it.

Also, they close the streets because they (today only she) walk the streets, literally. So the public transport we were trying to use to get home wasn't happening, because all the buses were blockaded on the other side of the street closures. So I got to push 35 kilos of kid home.

And Atti slept in the pram, but not in the cot. No sleep today. Arghhhh!

But. It was so wonderful. Incredible. It actually lives up to the hype. I got utterly soaked from the passing float, and I didn't care less. It was that great.

Rio was hilarious about the whole thing. Basically adults keep telling her that all her fairy/elf/nymph/witch etc books aren't true. But today she saw a giant, right there in front of her. So if that is real…. Now she is never going to believe anything we ever say again I guess.

Atti - well Atti can't stop telling people about "the little girl giant who's truck squirted Mummy". So I guess he is a fan too!

Also, amusingly for me, the little girl giant shut down justice in this town, briefly at least. As in, I noticed the balcony's were full of people watching the parade at the courts. I texted a friend who is an associate and he confirmed that they were all pretty much outside watching or on the balconies. Justice waits for no man…. except a fabulous puppet show!