I thought 4 was supposed to be easier...

Start with the good stuff, maybe.

Sunday - swimming wasn't so bad. Atti did really well at swimming apparently. And there was less drama getting out the door - but that is because I steamrollered over the Wook and his usual Sunday morning bullshit. I mean really, what the HELL? He gets all worked up about Atti being dressed to go to the pool, when you IMMEDIATELY undress him and put on bathers. Go in his pjs, ffs and make life easy. So that was a bit easier.

Sunday afternoon Atti and I went with friends to a performance of the Gruffalo, done by our symphony orchestra. They ran the movies with the voice track, but played all the music themselves. I was beautiful and glorious. They ran 'The Gruffalo' and "The Gruffalo's Child' back to back. 

We were seated across the aisle from the rest of our group, which upset Atti a bit. The first movie, he sat with me and it was lovely watching it together. But when the second started he convinced a little girl from daycare to cross the aisle and share a seat with him, then the two of them had a great time hiding under seats and drumming on the backs of seats and singing along. It was a performance for young kids, so no one was getting too worked up about anything, but I still squashed a bit just based on the 'next time I take you to a theatre you will try this again and nope' idea.

Lovely day.

Today however.... sigh.

It all went fine this morning, and given that we had to leave early because I had a new job that I had to get to, well a trial at least.

But the rest of the day was not great. It is Halloween so he went in costume, but apparently he was spitting at daycare (again) and then he was just so naughty at my friend's house that she said he couldn't go trick or treating with them (which we had planned to do together). I was so sad, because it was going to be such a nice night - there is a part of my suburb that goes all out and it is a lovely community event now. And when Rio and Atti were little we took them (sort of by accident) and it was so much fun. But he had done things that there wasn't any way to back out of it, so there was nothing to do but come home and try and jolly him up - but with no tv to boot. We did set it up for him to knock on our door and say 'trick or treat' to his dad - but still.

I honestly don't know what to do anymore. He is just so wilfully defiant right now, and I can't figure out what to do about it. I can mostly deal with it when it is just him and me, but I have no idea what to tell any of this other carers. And given that he is going to have to change daycares soon and start school next year, I just don't know how to handle it. I might be about to be offered a great job, but it seems to be full time - and I can't imagine how much worse that might make things. 

But there you go. 

Monster Truck day is finally here

And it was both successful and not-so-much.


So Atti was given tickets to the Monster Jam event here, and a pit party pass too. So this morning I dropped him and the Wook off at 10.30am at the arena, where they went into the incredible looking Pit Party. The plan was initially to go to the Pit Party, and then come home for a rest (sleep) and back to the arena for the event.

But there was a monster truck giving rides, you see. And that looked amazeballs. So the Wook and Atti stood in line for about an hour (still CANNOT believe that) so they could ride the Gravedigger. And they had a bit of a look around after that, but it was past any realistic sleep window. So we decided just to push on through and find some food and they had the iPad for the time before the show.

Wook not being quite as good at managing Atti, he decided against the quiet area the venue set up for, well pretty much this exact thing I would imagine. I think that wasn't the best choice. And the show was really loud. Now we expected this and a) he had on mufflers and b) we deliberately bought tickets up in the gods to try to deal with the noise. But it was all too much, and he fell apart about half way into the show and they left.

But it was still fine. No pix at all with Monster Trucks (I am really sad about this fact), but there is a fab video of Atti's face during the ride in the MT that is just wonderful. And we did get to turn up to a friend's housewarming for an hour or so (and leave pretty loudly and abruptly when our kid couldn't stop kicking stones into their pond. sigh).

But he is dead asleep, and I think he had a brilliant time. I am sad I didn't get a ticket actually, and I will totes be up for it next year.

Dummy fail

In other news, we had another fail at getting rid of the dummies. I honestly no longer have the faintest idea how he is ever getting rid of them.

He has popped all but one of the ones left, and I have said very plainly that we will be buying no more, that if he pops this last one that is it.

Anyway yesterday afternoon he announced that he wanted to give his last dummy to the dummy fairies and claim the garage they had promised. I said 'are you sure' and he was. So I took the dummy and claimed I was calling the DFs and brought back the garage.

Which was fine til it got closer to bedtime, and the hysteria grew.

Now some of this is my fault - he has been a bit fragile this week, a little underslept, a little sick, not eating quite right - and he has been a bit rough. It SHOULD have occurred to me that it was a dumb time to try this on.

But, yannow, assignments due and brain not working right.

So he was hysterically sobbing for his dummy, and in the end I couldn't see any way around it. Of course once he had his dummy (and we were in bed), then he started sobbing for his garage.

I honestly have no idea what to do any more. I was sure he would just give it up himself. That was my whole plan - that he would choose to give it up - and I was even fine with the bribing and lying that went with the dummy fairy idea. I didn't actually tell him about it, his friend from daycare told him about it, but I was fine with going with it. But now, I just don't know what to do about it. I think I have to restrict it to in bed, but .... well part of the problem is I don't really have the time to deal with this fight. I will have in December, but right now I can't cope with less sleep or fighting or anything while I am so stressed with exams.

crappy parenting I realise, but this will have to be kicked down the road a bit I think.

Teeth

I was driving to a park this morning with Atti and our friend's daughter Dj. She is about 18 months old and Atti calls her 'my baby'.

I looked in the rear vision mirror at the lights and grinned at Dj, then looked over at Atti, who seemed to be chewing something. Which was a concern as I had given them no food. So I asked 'what do you have in your mouth Atti'.

He looked at me for a minute and said 'Just teeth'.

Lol.

Funny story

My mum being here is mostly causing me stress, but last night she was telling me the funniest story about myself.

When I was little we stayed on a farm with a bunch of people - their friends I guess. And the kids were running about the field (actually there is nothing to suggest I wasn't the only kid there, now that I think about it). Apparently I touched an electric fence while playing on this farm. I have no memory of this at all.

But obviously someone had warned me about electricity by claiming it could kill me because I apparently ran across the field to my parents yelling 'I'm going to die, I'm going to diiiiiiiiid'. 

And of course the adults all pissed themselves laughing. 

Poor little 4 year old me. Being laughed at when I was going to die. 

ROFL.

Update on the spitting drama

It's still going on :(

Basically we have in place a deal with daycare where they tell us when it happens and there is a 'no screens til the next day' consequence at home. Which is sometimes annoying AF. Butwhatyagonnado.

There was an issue in the park the other day that maybe it happened there, but we aren't really sure and Atti swore up and down that it didn't. So right now I am still going with that it is confined to his daycare.

Which is about to become moot, as my daycare has just told us all that they lost their lease and will be closing in a little over a month. Awww-sum. Not even through to the end of the year, dammit.

So that is the bad news. Today is the birthday party of much awesomeness, and so that should be fun. Lets hope there is no spitting!

Spitting

Generally speaking, we haven't really had a lot of 'behaviour' issues with Atti. At daycare, when they want to talk with me about something, it is usually because of something another kid has done to him (he won't give up a scooter or bike to another kid, other kid gets upset and hits/bites/kicks Atti) but he is generally pretty chill. However in the last two weeks, he has been spitting on kids at daycare. Adding to that is a 'you can't do anything to me' attitude with the staff, apparently.

Oh, and for my friend Fifi, who thinks Atti is a genius - when the centre director told Atti that she was going to tell me what happened, he said 'you can't, my Grandfather is picking me up today'. When she explained she was going to phone me to tell me, she said he had a total 'oh shit, busted' look come onto his face. Genius eh? Not so much.

This happened the first two of the three days at daycare last week. So there was much talking about all this, and promises were made for the third day. Consequences were also explained. Day 3 comes around, spitting happens again and so once we got home, he had to pick a monster truck out and put it in the rubbish bin.

Which obviously we couldn't do three days a week, so a 'you lose all screen time' consequence has been enacted, and one day so far carried out (actually not for spitting, for refusing to go to swimming). Also, positive consequences were instituted. And I did some reading on this great parenting site I have been pointed at http://www.ahaparenting.com/ages-stages/preschoolers and I have been implementing lots of their ideas.

Things seemed to have settled down. He seems happier and his behaviour has improved. Still not the greatest listener, but that's ok.

Some of this, I think, is that he wants to go to a different daycare. Most of his friends have left (started school) and the staff who he really loved have left. So I get it. I was making plans to pull him out over the holidays and applied to another centre for next year when that all became much more important because we were told yesterday our lovely little centre is closing. In 6 weeks. The owner sold the property to a developer.

I'm really sad in one way, these people have cared for my baby with me, and done so much to help me raise him. The centre manager has worked there for nearly 20 years. It has been a daycare for 60 years! He has spent over three years there, learning to become a confident, happy, friendly boy. So that will be sad. However, I was pulling him out anyway, so it will only mess me up for a month I suspect.

Onward to cleaning - my mum is coming! Birthday parties need to be organised and planned. Big day ahead.

And if you are stupid enough to think things are going well....

So a little while ago Atti started taking off his night nappy first thing in the morning and doing a poo in the toilet. Then he would go off and find underpants himself and head off to play with toys. I would find his pjamas and nappy near the toilet. This was fabulous and I stupidly, after a week, told people - and it hasn't happened since I did that. sigh.

And on top of that we suddenly have a huge problem with daycare. He has been telling me he doesn't want to go, and to be fair, most of the older kids have left now and he only has a couple of friends left. The great teacher left, and he doesn't get along as well with the rest of them. So he isn't hugely happy there, and to be honest I am planning to move him next year when he starts school.

But this week he started spitting on the other kids.

What in the ever-loving F?

Quick check with everyone else in our life, and no, he hasn't done this anywhere else (um, yet?). After a big couple of days of discussing it, I dropped him off this morning, with lots of promises of no more spitting, and warnings of the consequences if he were to do so. Yup, more spitting. And when I got there, he burst into tears. When we got home he had to choose one of his monster trucks and put it in the bin, and after a discussion with the Wook, from now on when there is bad behaviour at daycare, there will be no tv that day.

Oy veh. Why oh why does this stuff always crop up when I am stupidly busy with uni and have no time.... oh. Well, yeah, ok, maybe. But it's not like I've been IGNORING him or anything.

sigh.