Everybody reset

So after freaking out a bit about Atti's behaviour and the Wook's anger - and feeling like it was back-against-the-wall time, I did some research and was a bit proactive. I surfed the Aha Parenting website (awesome stuff) and I found an article on what to do when your child starts to bully (not sure that is what is happening, but the response fits anyway). 

I emailed it to everyone involved with Atti's care and basically said 'this is how I will be dealing with this - please be on board or I will have to take you out of the equation'. Well, I actually didn't say the last bit, but, I mean, it's implied, right?

So, we have a gentle parenting approach in hand that is about modelling behaviour, setting limits with empathy, redirecting and proactive behaviours - lets hope that gets me through the month. You know, while I have exams, final reports, and a job trial on.

Mostly I am concerned with the Wook. He is so bad at staying calm, and now Atti is totally loaded for bear. Even when they are having a great time together, Atti is always ready for a fight, and the second Wook's voice changes or he tried to be an authority in any way, they are off. So we had a talk and I basically said 'the kid is now starting to be violent. That CANNOT happen. So either you stop all this stuff right now, or you have to leave - I can't have my kid becoming violent. He has to start a new school next year and likely a new daycare too - and I might be going back to work full time. So I have to address this stuff now, it cannot wait. And if you can't be calm, you can't be here.

So he agreed to, in effect, stop parenting entirely and just be a buddy. Which I am fine with. I have said that he can not ever lose his temper with Atti ever again. It is the only way he can regain Atti's trust. And then I signed him up for an anger management course and a 'dad's parenting boys' class that is all about modelling behaviour for your son. 

So, there are some positive steps taken, and hopefully this patch can hold for the month. The one where I am insanely busy trying to prep for exams (soooo far behind) and effectively write my whole research assignment in 10 days (topic collapse, reset, start again). And I am trying out for a job which I really want (but argh, what if it's full time?) and I need to review criminal law to do. 

So, finger crossed (or find someone to sell me speed?)